Wednesday, April 8, 2009

It's my Blog and I'll Muse if I Want to

Our Engagement Party March 2006

I know I have been musing a lot on here lately but I've really had a lot on my mind and I figure, if I'm going through some of this stuff someone out there may be going through the same thing and so why not share?

If you haven't already figured it out, it's my Spring Break. This Spring Break has been totally eye-opening. Many of you have read my musings about the inward struggle I have had with work and when to have children and how I'm going to be able to stay home and on and on. I'm in no way saying that this Spring Break has answered my questions but it has really opened my eyes to a lot of things.

First of all, I have been SO productive. This week has actually seemed somewhat long and I have gotten so much done. I was able to spend time with my mom, plant a garden, make cupcakes for my hubby, his co-workers and my friends, and bring dinner to some good friends that just had a baby. I have been so blessed. It may seem like I'm tooting my horn but please don't misunderstand me, I am in no way trying to get you all to see the fabulous things I'm doing. My point is, that before Spring Break I was praying that God would reveal Himself to me, that I would really see meaning in my life and His purpose for me. God is faithful. I never would have been so productive if it wasn't for the strength He has given me. I have been up early each morning, doing awesome morning devotions, cleaning, cooking, baking, gardening and more importantly, being used by God.

I have also realized in this week that I have really neglected some important relationships in my life. Dirk and I have, what I think, is the most amazing marriage (I know I'm biased). We are best friends, we can goof off with each other, be serious, have deep conversations and love each other, we are "Team Dallas". With work and all of the things that come with my career field, it is a struggle to ensure that we are staying as close as we are and so I've really let a lot of my other relationships take a back seat. Of course if I can only choose one relationship to pur myself into, Dirk absolutely comes firs,t but I'm realizing this week that rather than vegging in front of the TV after work or on the weekends I need to take time to call up my friends and see how they're doing. Work cannot dominate my life.

I was so blessed today to be able to cook dinner for a couple who have been very close friends of ours for 10+ years. While talking with my friend I was totally thinking about how much I missed our long conversations and times that we hung out. I feel ashamed that I have let our friendship take a back seat. I realize that my work does distract from my ability to be the most effective wife, daughter and friend. I know that I cannot quit my job right now and as I told my friend today, according to the world's views it is foolish to even think about ever staying home and being a mom. I just finished 5 years of school to get my credential, I have my student loans coming up for payment next month and we just bought a house. It makes absolutely no wordly sense to even think about quitting my job in the next year or so. Yet, I have such a strong desire to do so. I have no idea how God will work it out financially because there is no way in our current career situations that I would be able to quit my job but I know that if God is stirring up that desire in both me and Dirk, that He will provide financially. Now is the time that we get to sit at the Lord's feet and see what He will do. To God be the glory!

2 comments:

  1. Trust God will provide for the finances. Just remember even when you are a stay at home wife and mom it is easy to neglect your relationships. I have found this to be true over the last few months. I realized this because of facebook. I have many friends but never took the time to call or go out for coffee with them. I am so tied up with being a mom and wife I forget to reach out to my friends. So I made to effort to call one old friend and have weekly meals with her and her baby. But I have created so much busywork in my life I haven't had time for her since January. So just this week I have recognized that I have to much on my plate and need to back off some of these good things in my life ( subbing, gurrlie girl and tupperware.) and invest my time in others. My point in all this if you do decide to stay home be careful not to fill your days with busy work but take time for your friends and others around you. Evaluate everything you do because it s easy to become a Martha. Trust me ataying home is the best.God does provide for every need.

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  2. I would love to get back in touch soon Leash! I'm so excited to hear what the Lord is doing in your life.

    And man, that picture is old!

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