Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Rolla'coasta

Man, this whole future thing is an up and down rollercoaster!!! Just as I'm starting to really get used to the idea of leaving the classroom to work from home I'm hit with a ton of bricks! I received two extremely sweet e-mails yesterday. One was from a parent and another was from my district mentor. Today as I was packing up my classroom I came across my staff picture. I was looking at all of the faces who helped mold me into who I am as a teacher and I can't believe that after 5 1/2 years, I'm leaving this place. It's so bittersweet. Sometimes more bitter than sweet and vice versa.

I know that God will give both Dirk and I a peace about what we're supposed to do but being in this position is so difficult. Knowing that the Lord has worked through me to work in these kids lives and knowing that people have been encouraged by my teaching is difficult to deal with. On the flip side, I know that my family is suffering from my committment to this job and that's not okay in my book. My heart is so torn. I feel that I have a confirmation from the Lord on what to do but it's not easy. May He be glorified!!!

3 comments:

  1. I'm holding both of you up in my prayers! That road trip will be just the thing for you guys! :)

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  2. Alicia, I'm so glad that you have such wisdom so early on in your marriage. At times when Richie and I were first married I let school and work get in the way of my being the best wife I could be. Then when I had Jackson I let little things distract me from my home and mothering (blogging, volunteering at church, etc.) Even though I wasn't working outside the home, I felt stressed out that I was still not managing to do basic things I should have been doing.Then I realized, I chose to do those things for myself! I could stop doing them at any time.

    The sad thing is that the world will tell you that choosing to "just" be a mother is not enough or that it's completely disposable.Or at times you may feel like you need something for yourself that's not related to being a wife or mother. No one else can be the wife God has called you to be to your husband or to mother the children that he may bless you with. Now that I look at my place in the family as a ministry rather than a "job" I have more peace, less stress and I can confidently say no to offers of home employment, joining extra bible studies or being a slave to blogging knowing that I have my priorities straight (even when other ladies at church might be capable of juggling all that and may not understand my decision). I can also die to self daily when I'm not being recognized in the same ways that I was used to in school or the work place and realize that I'm doing what I do unto the Lord.

    There will always be good and wholesome things that you may choose to do during various seasons in your life but you should constantly be asking yourself if they will take you away from these roles that God has ordained for you.

    I have been reading your posts on this decision and have been praying for you. I'm glad that you're looking to glorify God and seeking His will in this decision.

    I recently read a book called, "On The Other Side Of The Garden" by Virginia Ruth Frugate that was such a blessing to me in this area. You can buy it on Amazon. I think that you'd be blessed by it too.

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  3. Allison, thank you SO much for those words of encouragement. I really needed them and it means a lot coming from you as you have experienced what I'm going through. You don't know how much it ministered to me, thank you!!! I'm definitely going to check out that book!

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