Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Dreams on Hold

My friend Melissa and I co-lead a small group for mommies on Wednesday mornings. A few weeks ago we finished our first book, "A Mom After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George. One of the things Elizabeth talks about at the end of her book is putting your personal dreams on hold to raise your children. She explains it well in her book, explaining that if you find a time in your day when you find yourself "wasting time" then pursuing a dream during that time is awesome, but don't let your dreams get in the way of raising your children. In our discussion we talked about what our dreams were that needed to be put on hold.

My first thought was, I am living my dream. I always wanted to be a teacher and a stay-at-home-mom and I got to teach for several years and now I get to stay home with Kenzie. I'm living the dream! But then God led me to really search my heart. What is it that my heart desires? What is it that I really wish could be, but is not, in my life? I knew immediately what the Lord was showing me...My dream is to have a well-organized home that, at the end of the day is clean and tidy so I can relax on my couch reading, or watching TV and not have a single chore hanging over my head. My reality is quite the opposite of that and God really was teaching me something.

What is most important? I realized that my desire to have a clean and orderly house, was creating frustration within me. I would choose to leave something a mess and do an activity with Makenzie because I knew that was the better choice but still I was inwardly frustrated that there was a mess that should be getting cleaned. When I would walk into our bedroom and see a laundry basket piled with clean clothes that hadn't been folded or put away in like a WEEK, I would get so frustrated with myself and think, "Why can't I just keep this house clean?!" The other day, as I was cleaning up, I thought, "You know one day my house will be immaculate. My baseboards always clean, never a smudge on the windows and never a piece of laundry out of place and that will be the day that little children no longer live here. A day when they are off doing their own thing and I will miss these days so much." It was then that God pressed on my heart again, let go of your dreams of having a house where everything is in it's place, enjoy the chaos and the fun of making messes with Makenzie and clean when you can.

I'm not saying that my house will never be clean and that my baseboards will always be dirty, in fact the entire downstairs is spotless right now thanks to my awesome hubby who helped out big time today! But I need to not allow the undone chores to frustrate me. Makenzie won't remember the times that our house was a mess...

she'll remember the time that we made slime and stretched it across the living room to see how far it could stretch...
or the time I stopped cleaning the kitchen to have a picnic with her and Rapunzel...
or the time that she painted after dinner, getting paint all over herself and then giggling when she saw herself in the mirror...

These past two years have already flown by and I can't believe how grown up our little girl is. I don't want to miss a thing! Every morning I pray that God will give me the discernment to make the best choice for our day and that he will give me the heart to put aside my dreams and to focus on what HE has for us today, while that may be cleaning it may also mean making a mess and cleaning it up a little later than I would like...and that's okay! :)

1 comment:

  1. What a beautiful little girl you have. I love your activities with her!